i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
