No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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