my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
