The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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