i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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