so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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