Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
