So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
