i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
