Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize