Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize