im about as happy as oj after his trial
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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