Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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