I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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