Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So squirting runs in the family.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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