Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize