did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
