Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
