And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
