hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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