Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
