Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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