No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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