God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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