Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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