Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
