try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
