Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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