you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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