I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
