my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
