I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We just shotgunned beers for America
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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