arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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