My brain says no but my pants say off.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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