Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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