At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize