Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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