So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
