He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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