Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
