i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
