wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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