So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
