he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
