i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
