so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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