my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
