i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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