Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
