Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
