Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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