One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
