I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
