Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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