Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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