would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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