I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it wasn't lemon gatorade
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
